The Thing is, You Think You Have Time
I’ve been thoughtful lately. I just turned 71. I’m five years into retirement, have grown accustomed to the quiet emptiness of a missing child, seem to have tempered my chronic urge to move from house to house, and near the end of my time serving on my community board. For the first time in almost 4 years, I’ve got a fairly open road ahead of me.
In 2025, I set up a camera-phone over my art table, adjusted my tinfoil hat, and started a YouTube Channel. I’m 15 months in - and it’s done wonders for my art practice. It’s also thoroughly worn me out. There are times when I contemplate taking a hiatus, but it’s something I enjoy, until there’s not enough of me to go around.
I’ve also let go of the secret wish that Museware would find itself in new creative hands. That door has closed and there’s always a new one. This was my studio. Those who have watched my channel will recognize the huge image on the wall - my forever 19 year old son Neal. It now lives in my tiny home studio and quietly watches you - watching me. Today is May 4th, his 33rd birthday.
He’ll be gone 14 years on August 20th and even after all these years, the months, weeks, days, and even hours leading up to that day are accompanied by a knowing we didn’t have at the time. We thought it was just another day. Even when I was yelling at him for running the AC with the windows open, I didn’t know he was already gone. Someone once said “the thing is, you think you have time.”
What else don’t I know? What other curve-balls from the universe await me, and how much do I have to do with their existence? What’s the point of a life that fills you with exquisite joy followed by a crushing blow? These are the kinds of questions I burn with, while my normal friends are happy just going shopping or planning a trip to Florida. Answers result in only more questions. On my headstone: Question Everything.
I’m on the cusp of something new creatively, something that literally feels like a fresh beginning. The Younger digital me has started hanging out with the Older handmade me and what the hell took us so long?
Handmade Sheree - meet Digital Sheree. You two kids, go have some fun together. How about you out there - whomever you are? Care to join me? Making art is wicked fun. Likers gonna like, haters gonna hate, creators must create. May the 4th be with you.
Thanks for listening. xo
